Image: Angela Trinidad
Have you clipped your own wings when it comes to what you believe is possible for your life? Do you allow your words and thoughts about what’s possible for you to be determined by what you “should” be doing out in the world? Maybe you delineate the truth of what’s possible by using “reality” as a measuring stick.
I have a beef with this thought process. Like my hero Louise Hay before me, I believe the word “should” keeps us stuck in limiting beliefs and attached to being wrong. Think about it, every time we use the word should we are making ourselves wrong. Saying “I should be doing/feeling/thinking/being…” immediately states to the universe that you’re not doing the right thing, thereby making yourself wrong. What if we could replace should with COULD?
Could opens up a world of possibilities, and gives us choices, when before we had none. For instance, instead of saying “I should be doing…” we could say “If I really wanted to, I could be ___________” Go ahead, try it now. Doesn’t that feel better? If you’re NOT currently doing what you could be doing in order to create the reality that you want, why aren’t you? What holds you back from doing it?
This leads me to my next question: Who is the author of your shoulds? Is it you? Or is the voice of a parent or teacher the voice you’re hearing in your head?
When you convert your shoulds to coulds, be discerning. Sometimes the voice of should is not your own. You may actually be able to throw out a should entirely and come up with your own, more authentic could.
We often beat ourselves up for not doing something that we never wanted to do in the first place. People force themselves into careers and lifestyles that they don’t truly want to please others, and wind up feeling less than because they feel they should be more of something they’re not. Is there anything on your should list that you could drop with a sigh of relief? I’d bet there is.
Once you let go of the unnecessary shoulds, you might begin to look at your life in an entirely new way, and you might find that removing the external pressure to be something you don’t want to be opens you up to a whole new way of thinking about your worth and your happiness. You’re no longer wrong for not measuring up to someone else’s standards for your life and you can reclaim your ownership of it.
This shift also obliterates the idea that what you’ve experienced in the past is what’s possible for you now, because the old operating system no longer applies.
So – what DO you want to do? The point of power is in the present moment. Change can begin now. All of your words, thoughts and beliefs have created the life you’re experiencing, and if you’re not living in line with your authentic self, you have the power to choose again, and realign with your deepest desires.
What you give out, you get back. What you put in, you get out. Garbage in, garbage out.
Stay tuned next week for an exploration on what to put in. (Hint: SELF LOVE).
I am always with you on this journey.