Decision Making


You are at a crossroads. Ahead of you lie two (or more) paths and you just can’t decide which way is the best way to go… if only there was a sure way to guarantee that you could make the best decision to create the best outcome…

You call your Mom who “just wants you to be happy sweetheart”. You spend a few hours over coffee lamenting to your best friend about your options. You make a pro and con list. You pore over articles on the web looking for some clue as to what direction you should go in and still make no progress, you still can’t decide which option is best for you. Confusion reigns. Inertia sets in.

Your ego mind presents you with the “shoulds”: concerns, responsibilities, other people’s desires and expectations, society’s expectations. Your ego mind is filled with voices that aren’t yours; the voices that trumpet fear, resistance, perfectionism and limitation onto your awareness (hardly the recipe for successful decision making).

If you’re in this place, with the clock ticking down, take a breath, grab a notepad and roll up your sleeves. Help is at hand, in fact it is in YOUR hands.

Begin by writing down all the potential worst case scenarios you associate with your decision; you know those scary thoughts, where you end up destitute, alone and loveless, awaiting the day they find your body with half of your face eaten off by your cat Señor Purrington. By you, I actually mean me, and I’m mostly kidding. I can relate to that place because I have a monkey-mind too, and can conjure up the worst of the worst. I learned how to worry from professionals, and it took some effort to learn how to redirect my mind instead of automatically letting my thoughts go to the bad place. For the sake of this exercise, don’t hold back, really let loose and let your ego/fear mind run wild. When you’ve exhausted all of the potential disasters, thank the Debbie Downer in your head for sharing and gently send her away for some R&R.

Look at the list you have just created and make friends with all of the worst case scenarios. Write down how each one could actually be good for your life. It’s a technique I learned along the way and has provided me a lot of good insight. The trick is to feel it all, let it go and then focus on accessing our intuition. Your intuition can be the perfect guide during times like this.

When you’re finished writing, stand up, walk around the room or even take a walk outside and become aware of your surroundings. When you come back in, sit in a different spot than the one you were sitting in before. We’ve cleared your mental deck of any monkey-mind distractions (for the time being) and now the fun can begin!

Mindful practice is our next step. Find a comfortable seat and prepare to meditate. How you meditate does not have to be complicated, you can simply follow your breath. An easy meditation exercise I enjoy is to breathe in for a count of 5, hold for 3, exhale for a count of 8. The counting will give your mind something to do, because sitting silently can be a challenge for those of us who don’t often practice. A mantra, word or prayer can also be a helpful way to keep your mind occupied. One I enjoy is: “Om Namah Shivaya” (I bow to the divine self). Do 10 or more rounds or a minimum of 5 minutes. Go longer if you like, up to 15 minutes. If your attention wanders, just gently bring it back to your breath or your mantra.

When you’re finished with your meditation session you’ll notice a place of clarity and clear-headedness. This is the perfect time to access your intuition for guidance.

Voice your request for more information by asking: “What do I need to know about this decision?” or “Show me the next step for bringing my desires into my reality.” Tune into your body and become aware of the sensations you’re feeling – your ego mind typically resides in your head, and will create energy there. Your intuition will largely reside in your torso, your gut, your solar plexus area and often bring with it a sense of peace, inspiration, and joy.

A technique I use and teach frequently to access what my intuition is trying to tell me is automatic writing, or stream of consciousness writing. I hold each potential scenario in mind and then begin to write about it, unfiltered. You may find that a lot of conscious mind and surface level thoughts come through at first – keep writing. You will soon find that deeper level information is coming through and that’s your intuition at play.

Use all of your senses and imagine what each path might be like if you were to choose it. Feel, see, taste, touch, sense and experience. Notice how your body feels when you visualize each possibility. Relaxed? Restricted? Tight? Joyful? Expansive? Peaceful? Abundant? Fearful? Excited? Refreshed? Depressed? Drained? Did you get a strong sense of yes or no about each possibility from your body and your intuition? (Hint: the scenario that makes you feel the most positive is typically the path that will bring you the most happiness).

To take this a step further, (especially if you’re deciding on a new career path) you can write about your ideal day. It’s very simple: imagine that you have embarked on your new career path; what is your day like from the time you wake until the time you go to sleep? Delve into every detail that comes to mind: from what you are wearing, tasting, smelling, feeling; to who you see and speak with. What do you wear, where do you go? Allow your mind to simply run with this and do NOT edit yourself. No filters!

The work you did earlier should have calmed your mind enough to dive in, but if any skeptical thoughts creep in, do not listen. Your job is to visualize and imagine, and nothing else. Do not engage in thoughts about whether or not your dream day is possible, just write. Do nothing but let your thoughts run free.

After you have completed the writing portion come back to your body and the room that you’re in, and feel the power of possibility that you just accessed. Recognize it and remember that your intuition is enormous and guides you to taking inspired action towards living the life you most want to live. Go back and review the questions from above – what came through for you as you visualized your ideal day? What did you experience?

When I have done this exercise I have been delighted that I have met people and been in situations that I visualized. People, places and things presented themselves, in the exact manner that I wrote them in this exercise. At best you will have accessed a divine road map to the potentials in your future, and at the very least you will have given voice to your desires, which changes your energy by virtue of simply acknowledging them. When you gain clarity about what you want you can empower yourself to take inspired action towards your goals.

In truth, anything you can imagine for yourself is possible and in the words of my favorite author, Richard Bach: “You are never given a dream without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.”

I’d love to hear about your experiences with this, and how this works for you in your decision making process. Please share in the comments below!

As always, I’m with you on the journey.

With great Love,